Oh my moving day blues

I'm moving in 5 days!  I have started to pack up my stuff and realize that I have a lot of little stuff.  I have a few big items...but a ton of stupid stuff...like pens!  I have 50 thousand pens!  Why do I need them?  Who knows..but I have them!  And I will be darned if I throw out perfectly good pens!  But why do I have so many?  (sigh of frustration)

I have some furniture!  I'm bringing (not sure what will fit and what won't fit) a dresser, big book case, small bookcase, 1 night stand.  I had a brass table thing...but my dad has now taken it over and refuses to let me have it!  Ha ha ha!

So, while I don't have a ton of stuff, I do have stuff.  And while it should all fit right now I am not sure where it will fit and that is where my nervousness comes in.  Plus, I don't want the house to look junky...but then I also don't want to not have what we need.  So...it really is a bit unnerving!

Here is the last debbie downer of the day.  Curt said, let's move in on Tuesday.  I'm off work and my friend Paddy and I can move the heavy furniture.  Yesterday, it turns out that Paddy has some big meeting and cannot help move the furtniture.  And all of Curt's friends and my family (including myself) have to work on Tuesday.  So, Curt is going to move as much as he can Tuesday morning.  Then I will help him out, then my family and his friends will help us out as well...after they start getting off work.

It's not ideal...but I guess it's nothing to stress over either!  So, that is my life at the moment!  If my not being able to move into my house at the exact time I want too...is my biggest issue, then I'm doing pretty great!  I'm out for now!

Inspirational Thursday

Happy Thursday Folks,

I'm officially done with kids at my school! I was actually officially done with the kids today at 10:50, but who is really counting! Who am I kidding...I was totally counting!

The only wah wah thing is that it is raining and it's chilly! That is not how I pictured starting summer. You know? I want sun and warmth...but I guess technically for me...school is not over! So, hold off on the summer sun!

Next Tuesday I'm moving into a new apartment! One of the things I'm so excited for is the workout room! I mean, it's not lifetime fitness gym...but it's something! I loved going to the gym (when it went with my schedule). I would go 5-6 times per week! There is something that made me feel awesome about going. So, I'm hoping that I can motivate myself to go. I can barely motivate myself to get up in the morning...ha ha ha!

How to keep yourself motivated is a very personal, very hard thing to do! I mean, watching the dance recital this weekend motivated me. I wanted to stretch, eat better, and just take dance classes! But when I went out to dinner after the performance...I wanted onion rings and spinach dip! Ha ha ha! How to carry the motivation we feel when we read an article or watch something...I don't have the answer for that! I wish I did! But for right now, you are gonig to have to rely on yourself!

I guess in the end, we have to do this for ourselves anyway. It will be easier for us to lose weight if we want it for ourselves. So, the next question is...do you want it? For me, the answer is...depends on the day! Or my mood! Is that the best way to be? Oh heck no! But it is something for me to work on! How to be more consistent...in hopefully a good way and not "Well I'm consistently eating poorly and not working out."

How do you all stay motivated? How do you keep yourselves going in the right direction? If you don't know, then let's figure out how to get to that place! How to be more motivated in ourselves! How to stay on the healthy path! Let's figure it out right now! Go! Now, figure it out! Don't just keep on sitting here...!

Not much to say!!!

I got to see and hold Baby Tenley the other day for 40 min all by myself!  I was so excited, I love little tiny babies!  I love hearing the stories about how they were born!  I love everything about it!  Maybe it's because I'm so excited to have kids!  To be pregant!  To do all of that fun stuff!  Everyone in my family has loved being prego!  No one is really ever sick!  So, for me, it's always been such an amazing experience!  And I'm assuming that I'm going to have an amazing experience as well!  All of that being said, I want to get married before I have kids...ha ha ha!  So, I'm not wanting kids quite yet, but I am excited for that!  Just in case anyone thinks I'm getting some crazy ideas!

The other thing I wanted to talk about, is how I dreamt that my sister Dana went to jail.  It was a very confusing dream, the kind that would't go away.  You know that type?  That even if you wake up and go back to sleep, it's still there.  Even Dana didn't know why she was going to jail.  It was just the weirdest thing.  Here is what I found out about my dream: To see someone else in prison in your dream, signifies an aspect of yourself that you are unable to express freely!  How crazy is that!  I need to start expressing myself freely if I can!  Ha ha ha!  Megan, my dream talking is for you!  Love you!

Alright, I'm out for the day!  I can't think of anything else fun to write!

Inspirational Thursday- kind of...

So, yesterday an old friend of mine passed away. I am calling her an old friend, because we stopped working together about 2 years ago. She was kind of a sour person. Not all that nice, even to her friends. So, when I switched jobs...it wasn't hard to slowly stop talking to her. She had been sick her whole life. She had had multiple heart surgery's and was needing to lose weight before she could have another one. Last June, she just got hit with something. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but she has been in the hospital basically ever since. Last week she decided it was time to talk to her two kids because she was dying and she knew it! Then they pulled the plug on her yesterday and she passed away peacefully. She was a single mom who left behind 2 boys.

Here is the thing that always drove me nuts, from the time I met her and heard about her surgery's and needing to lose weight. I would invite her to the gym with me. In fact my friend Stacey and I joined the same gym and said...Sherry come join the gym with us. We don't workout together, but it's nice to walk by and say "I hate the gym" or something like that. She said no! She would ask for help to not eat something, but if we ever said "Let's boycott the dessert table at a party..." she would get mad at us. I am kind of mad at her! If she had lost the weight and gotten healthy, would she still be here with us today? I don't know! But I kind of think it would have been worth a shot!

People, I know eating healthy sucks and working out sucks, but if something is affecting your health, then you have change! There are deaths out there that I call a pointless death. Car accidents where someone is not wearing a seatbelt. Or a person dying because they smoked so much! Or an overdose. These are all things you can change yourself! That you can take into your own hands and fix! It's so frusterating when people just ignore things or do things that could hurt them!

I'm sorry that I'm ranting and raving today! I am normally a happy go lucky, eat desserts, and chill type of person! But that yesterday made me want to take a look at myself! If I had to change something for my health, could I do it? Would I do it? Don't make this mistake! Do what is needed to be a more healthy person for your siblings, spouse, kids, parents, friends...because we are the ones left behind wondering if we could have helped in some way! I'm not trying to be a grouch, and I know that God has a plan. But God also wants us to work hard and to cherish what he has given us and to honor the temple (or body) he gave us. So, let's do that!

One of my friends went to a workout session on Monday! On Tuesday and Wednesday she could barely walk. I of course laughed at her...having been there myself before. But I told her to embrace the pain! To enjoy the pain because she had worked her rear end off! She was using muscles she hadn't used in a while. The class sounded terrifying! But I was a little jealous because I have not felt that sore in a long time. Which means I have not worked out like that in a long time! But I want too! I want to get up and get moving! I don't want any future kids of mine being sad because they lost their patent at a young age. Heck fire, I don't want my kids to be sad because they lost their parent at an older age either! So, I'm going to do what I can for myself to not be that parent! I might pass away anyway, but I'm going to know it wasn't because I ate too much junk. Or because I did not excercise enough! I don't want my death to be a pointless one!

Sorry that this was such a downer email...

Inspirational Wednesday!

I'm sorry for sending such a late email! It has been crazy toay at school! Unlike everyone other school in the world (okay, so that is a bit dramatic) we don't get out until next week! So, this week is a little nuts! To make matters worse, my mind is like back in April! I can not wrap my head around the fact that the kids are done with school next week. Or that I'm moving in a week and a half! Where is my head!

I feel like right now in my life, my head and reality are not connecting! Which is a terrible thing! I know I need to pack! Just like I know I need to eat better. Or I know that I need to workout. But it's not connecting! I do great for a day, then the next day is terrible. I hand great intentions today to eat my salad! And my fruit that I brought. But the reality is, when my co-worker said I will buy you starbucks, if you go and get it...I wanted Starbucks! So, I said okay! (Sigh) What am I going to do with myself?  

Maybe it's because I am feeling so unorganized or so weirded out by the fact that the month of June starts next Friday...but I'm not feeling it! Is anyone else with me? And here is my problem, if I think about it too hard, I will really stress about it. Then I will want to eat the Coffee and Heath Bar ice cream that I bought yesterday! (Oh my goodness, why did I buy that? Insert buyers remorse)! So, what am I doing to fight that?

I'm giving myself space! I'm trying to balance what I'm eating with drinking more water. Or excercising with going to bed earlier! I'm trying to forgive myself for thing things I'm supposed to be doing. I should be excercising for crying out loud! I started this group and am not even doing anything for it! I'm letting go of the stress of everything. I do need to pack, but I'm moving 15 min away, not hours away or states away! I'm trying to enjoy my life at this moment! This exact moment! Now this one! It sounds funny, but it's true!

At the theatre camp I work at, Re-ACT (plug, sorry, it had to be done) we tell our kids, you will never have this moment again. You might do the show again, but you won't have this group of kids at this exact time in your life again! So cherish it! Make it count! I'm sure the people of Moore, OK would tell you the same thing. Enjoy your life! Enjoy the people you are with! Let go of the silly things that might make you mad!

Should we still try to excercise? Yes! Eat Healthy? Yes! And do all of that stuff? Yes, but that doesn't mean you should feel guilt if for some reason your life is on a crazy speeding train and you have to feel guilty for things you should be doing! Hug yourself today! Even if you aren't doing as well as you want to be, tell yourself that you love yourself! You deserve to be happy! You deserve to feel amazing! And this goes for people who weight 100lbs to 500lbs! Everyone has their issues that we do not know about! So everyone deserves to be happy and to be loved, and to be appreciated! I appreciate you all and I hope you appreciate yourself!

Oops, that was deep! Have an amazingly blessed day today!

I'm your cousin once removed...but you can call me Aunt Amy!

Last night my cousin and cousin-in-law went into labor!  She got to the hospital at 5pm and had the baby by 10pm!  How exciting is that!  My sister has some pretty easy labors as well...so I'm hoping that I have easy labors as well.  I guess my cousin-in-law having easy labors is not relevant to me...but it's just a thought!

My sister is the only one of us who has had kids up to this point.  So, we all have always been on the girls side of the family.  It was different being on the boy's side of the family!  We did not get to hold the baby last night, which was weird...but I once heard someone say, Do what you want to do with your birth plan.  And that makes sense.  It is just funny how different people's plans are.  I have really only been around my sisters, and all 3 of her's were the same.  As of right now, I am leaning more towards how she did hers!  But you never know what is going to change when I am actually prego!  Ha ha ha, I should stop focusing on that...but it's hard because I feel that everyone is having a baby right now!  It's so crazy!!!

The Extended Family with Baby Tenley!

Do you ever realize how that happens?  You hear that one person is getting married, then all of a sudden on facebook...everyone is getting married?  The same for babies...!  I guess this is me justifying the fact that as of right now I am neither getting married...nor having babies!  I kind of want it to be a random thing...where no one else is getting married.  Ha ha ha!  Maybe I should make an announcement on FB!  I'm not engaged...please no one else get engaged!  This is my time...and I'm going to take the spotlight!  Ha ha ha, this makes me sound weird!  I guess I am a little weird!  Oh well!  Everything happens when it is supposed to happen...and I'm really trying to focus on living in the moment!  Sometimes I just get overwhelmed by everyone living a few steps ahead of me!  But that is okay, because when I get engaged I will be debt free!  Everything that I save will be for the wedding or the future!  When I have a baby, I will hopefully still be debt free!  Unless Curt and I buy a house!  So that everything we save can be for the baby!  That is my goal!  It is sometimes hard to remember what I wanted...when you see a little tiny baby looking up at through the nursery window!  But, I will love it...when it's happening!  Being debt free is amazing!  And I know, because I was in $20k+ worth of debt!  And I don't want to have to worry about those bills when I am trying to plan a wedding!  Or am trying to plan a baby room!

This post is all over the place, much like all of my posts!  So, while I'm so excited to start planning a wedding and for future babies!  I'm much more excited to be debt free!  In July I should be (unless my car breaks down again-hence the extension of my debt free-ness) I will be debt free...except for my school loan...but that shouldn't take too long either!  I will be debt free!  I will be debt free!  It's fun to type!  Okay, bye!

Inspirational Tuesday!

So, last night was a very exciting time! It was the surprise Birthday Party to my sister's father-in-law...and right before the big surprise...we were all surprised by the fact that my cousin and cousin-in-law had gone into labor!

Needless to say, I celebrated both occasions by eating cheese fries and Italian Nachos! I did eat healthy during the day, because I knew about the b-day party! However, this morning I was feeling kind of gross! I'm positive it's because of what I ate last night...it was so amazing and greasy!!! I loved it! Do I want to eat it every meal? No, but it's fun to splurge every once in a while!

I read you should eat breakfast like a King, lunch like a Prince, and dinner like a pauper. That way your body had time to digest your biggest meal. But breakfast might not be everyone's favorite meal, or there might not be time to have a King like breakfast (or maybe you are thinking...what does that even mean?). My point on this rant, is that if you have a favorite meal or a favorite food that is terribly yummy and terrible for you...splurge every once in a while! If you do that, then you are going to do better at losing. Going 3 weeks with no sugar...is just a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. And when it does, watch out desserts...it's coming for you! So, have a piece of cake. Or a piece of pizza...just try to add something healthy to it. Have a salad before you eat pizza. Or eat a healthy lunch before pigging out at old chicago! You will feel better that you did!

The main goal is to eat better 90% of the time...and then splurge every now and then. But isn't that life in general? You have to save money to buy that special item! If you bought every thing you ever wanted...you would be so much debt! So, think of eating healthy like that...you don't want your body to be in a health debt! So you must save your healthy money so that you can spend it on a yummy ice cream sunday or fries with cheese!!!

Folks, I brought the left over birthday cake to my work place (teachers love free food). I went in just now, because I'm starving and wanted a piece of cake. But I decided instead to go with the fruit I brought! That almost killed me, but if I can make one tough decision...I can make 2! And if I can make 2, then I can surely make 3! So, make the first smart move! The second and third move will seem easier! Just trust in yourself to make the smart move!

Peace out for today!

Inspirational Monday

Holy Moly...week 8!!!

Who has totally taken a break? I know that I have! I have also received emails from a few of you...so I know you are with me! I feel as if on Monday's I come in ready to go and then by Tuesday...I'm exhausted or life gets in the way...and I bomb the rest of the week! Bombing it...might be a bit dramatic!

I was talking to my brother-in-law and I mentioned that I have eaten terribly this weekend. He said, I just think to myself, I could have eaten worse! I thought, that is a very true statement! I did eat poorly, but I could have eaten worse. Ha ha ha, I like the way guys think sometimes! Thanks Mike for that insight!

So, once again let's start this routine over! Once again let's climb back up on the eating healthy train and the workout train! Once again let's start feeling good about what we are doing for ourselves...for example today I have a salad for lunch and fruit for desserts...but if I'm honest with myself...I am having these for lunch and snacks, because tonight I"m going to a party at Old Chicago!!! And darn it, I want to go and eat what I want and feel great about it! So, if that is my motivation for today! Eat healthy and workout so that I can eat what I want? Then so be it! I'm okay with that!

Find your own motivation folks! Find what works for you! If giving yourself rewards for eating healthy...then do it! If it's getting to eat at your favorite place? Then do that! Find what works for you...and you will make it work for you!!! Go out there and do your best!  

My co-worker...

A man at my work, lost his dog yesterday.  He loves dogs!  His wife owns a Vet Clinic, so animals are there life!  His wife forgot about the dog in the car all day and he passed away.  It is a terrible tragedy and one that  just kills me and leaves everyone a little confused!

So, today say a little prayer for him and his family!  He needs to be able to forgive his wife for the mistake.  She needs to forgive herself!  They just need to mourn and forgive!

When things like this happy with animals or kids, it blows my mind!  I always think, how in the world does this happen?  How can you forget something as important as your kid or puppy!  I don't understand it, but it makes me nervous!  I don't want to ever forget like that!  But I have (in my mind) done things only later to realize that I actually didn't do it.  Put something away, when it actually is still in my car.  Or packed something in my suit case, when in all reality it's still sitting on my bed!

I guess I'm writing this to tell people to be aware of what is going on around you!  Go to bed if you are so sleepy that you forget something.  Make sure your health is strong because others rely on you!  Just please please please, be aware!  Always make it a habit of looking in the back if you have kids or animals.  For a while in college it was a habit to look in my backseat before I got into the car.  So, let's make a habit of looking in the backseat when I get out of the car.  Just be aware and don't let stupid accidents happen.  They are pointless and dumb!  And they are things that we can avoid!

Inspirational Saturday

Hello folks!

Let's talk about some things that are really annoying!  I was doing great and losing a few ounces a day...then all of a sudden I started gaining a few ounces.  That is so annoying!  If I take an inner look I can probably see where things went wrong.  Not enough water, too much desserts...too much food in general!  But it's annoying!  I think, the annoying thing is that I don't realize what I'm doing until I have gained weight!  Yesterday I ate really well all day...until dinner!  But I didn't have the water intake I had had before!  

So, when I saw the scale today I wanted to go and eat both pop tarts, or eat a bowl of ice cream and say...who cares!  It doesn't matter what I eat anyway...I'm not losing!  But we can't let ourselves do that!  We must take responsibility for how we eat or how much we exercise   Don't let a small set back turn into a big set back.

Keep remembering that you can always start again and start fresh!  So, this morning I had watermelon and only 1 pop tart!  I'm going to leave my part time job before the hot dogs, chips, and cookies come out!  Yes, it was disappointing this morning getting on the scale.  But I'm refusing to look outside of myself for the blame!  I'm putting it all back on me...and I'm going to do better today!  So, that tomorrow when I get on the scale I feel better!  Which will make eating healthy easier!

Go out there, let yesterday go and start today fresh!  Even if you ate crazy for breakfast...start fresh for lunch!  Let's do this today!  Make it better than yesterday!  Eat better than yesterday, Workout more than yesterday, enjoy your friends and family more than yesterday!  Love your people more than yesterday!  Make today really count for something!  Then tomorrow start again and make it better than today!  If you do that, you will lose weight, you will tone up, you will have amazing relationships with your friends and family!  So stop reading this...and go do it!  

Asst. Nurse..that's me!

So the nurse is running out of supplies at our school.  We have 8 days left and she was trying to hold out on buying any more stuff.  But with allergies out of control, the sore throats and headaches...she was running out!  So, I told her to go during the day, it shouldn't take her that long to get stuff and then she doesn't have to go out her way after school.

So, she leaves!  I send out an email letting teachers know not to send kids down for the next hour.  Everything is going great, 20 min have passed and no kids!  This could work!!!

Then 2 kids come in from P.E.!  The dreaded p.e. kids, who always get hurt and are sometimes big babies about it.  They have been running the mile...so when a kid said he twisted his ankle and another said he pulled a muscle.  They were helping each other out!  I told them that I can't give them meds, but I will give them ice.  Then another kids comes in...holding his wrist.  And shortly after that another saying he was hit in the stomach.  They play crazy games and this wasn't totally out of the question.  So, by this time I think I have 4 kids...I tell them to all have a seat and I run to my walkie...and yell for the gym teacher.  In walks another kid, and I see the teachers peaking in the window.  I open the door and say to him "Get your ass in here".  I'm, what I would call, slightly freaking out.  I ask him what he is doing to these kids.  And why he is trying to kill them all.  A girl is now being carried into the office as well, and they are yelling, she fell off the bleachers.  I'm thinking that the gym teachers have lost all control of the kids...when the teacher says

"Alright guys, that was good"!  All of the kids get up and walk out of the office unharmed!  I yell, are you kidding me?  And start laughing!  It was an awesome prank!!!  I loved it!!!  I am still laughing about it and anyone who has heard the story is also laughing about it!

I love pranks where no one gets hurt...or is made to look silly!  Or Embarrassed!  Just a perfect prank!!!  Happy Friday folks! 

Inspirational Friday

Hello Workout Peeps,

Does anyone else out there just live for Friday's? I feel like I do! So, needless to say I'm extremely happy that it's Friday!

Today, I'm going in to talk to my boss' at work. It's not fun...it's not bad...but it always makes me nervous! I would almost rather not do it...but then how will things ever change if I am not the one to bring it up. The same goes for losing weight and toning. It's not fun...it's not bad...but it kind of sucks to think about. To think that I can't eat whatever I want, whenever I want, however much I want...but...if I want my clothes to fit...or I want to feel better about myself and my appearance. Then I'm going to have to bring it up. I'm going to have to start doing whatever it is I need to do to get to where I want to be! That might be something simple as giving up pop, or not eating after a certain time. Or it might have to be something drastic... Gluten or Sugar. Either way, it's something that you yourself are going to have to do for yourself! Don't expect anyone else to do it for you!

All of that being said, let's be brave today! Let's do something that is going to better our lives in the near future and the distant future! I'm going to talk to my boss today...and I am going to change how I eat today! Both things make me nervous and a bit unhappy! But, I know that both things will make my life better in the long run! So, I'm going in strong! With my reasons, with my back up plans, with my facts all in a line! So that I can't chicken out...even if I wanted too!

I read that people who talk about their savings...actually save more! Because once you tell someone, they will hold you accountable. It's true as well with this email. I'm putting myself out there! There are a few things I hold back...aka my weight...but I let you know when I am doing well as well as when I fail (yesterday's treat day of white cake, chocolate cake, and pumpkin donut holes)! Are you being held accountable? Or are you just cruisin' along for the ride?

You all can do this! You can be accountable! You can do whatever you put your minds too! Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't! And if they do tell you that you can't, prove them wrong! You can do this!!!

Old Friends, New Friends...love it!

Sometimes you meet people and everything about that meeting is perfect!  You hit it off from the start!  You are just amazing friends and it's all great!  Sometimes you meet people and the timing is not right.  You aren't the right age, you aren't the right person yet.  If things work how they are supposed too...when you meet up with that person again...the time is right and you can be amazing friends!  Sometimes, the first meeting is really bad...and it might never workout for you all to be friends...but hopefully that doesn't happen to you too often!

I'm talking about this because we have our future 6th graders taking a tour of the school today.  And these kids could be meeting brand new people who will be their best friends or maybe not be their friends until later in life.  But it's so fun to watch these kids and wonder...what is their life going to be!

When I worked at Sea World!  There was a group that I just fit into automatically!  It was the first time in my life where I felt like I truly belonged!  I was 24 at the time.  I felt like these people liked me so much and always wanted to hang out with me.  After 24 years of always feeling on the outside, this was amazing!  I loved those people and continue to at least facebook them...since I can't see them very often!

I remember when I first saw Emily, who is now one of my close friends!  Everyone I talked too said she was so nice and so talented.  We never had a chance to meet because our paths never really crossed.  The bad thing was that one of my best friends at the time liked the guy that liked her.  So, it put a bad taste in my mouth about her.  Only because I was trying to be a good friend.  Anyway, we met again 5 years later...and the timing was just right!  We now talk just about every day...and get together at least once a month!  Our lives took similar paths...and we can lean on each other for things that not many of our friends know about.

I have another friend Suzanne.  When we first met she was the lead in a musical...and I was orphan number 85, I was also 10 to her 12.  We met again in High School, but she was a shark and I was a jet.  Not exactly an opportunity to hang out and get to know each other.  And I was kind of a goof ball!  We met again when I was 26...and we hit it off!  And I love that girl!

Now, I have met this gal Jenny!  She and I went to high school together.  We did not run in the same crowd, and I always felt that no one knew who I was.  So, I didn't really bother to get to know anyone.  I would say that is a bad way to be.  I don't recommend it!  Anyway, she is now my co-worker and is changing schools next year!  I'm going to miss her, but I hope that we can stay friends!  She is really an amazing person.  And...I sent her the blog address today...hopefully she starts at the beginning...hee hee hee!

Then we have my sisters, who I never really fell out of touch with or anything like that...but as we grow older things change and our personalities change and become more amazing!  It is an adjustment...but one that is fabtastic!  I love getting together with all of my sisters to see what is new and how our chemistry has changed over the last few months!  So great!  I can't wait until June!  Megan...hurry up and get here!

I guess my final thought is always be nice to people.  Even if they aren't your favorite person at the moment.  You never know where life will take you!  You never know who God is going to put in your path of for what reason they are there!  If you have had a bad first impression, don't be afraid to be the bigger person and apologize so that you all can start on a new foot.  As I tell my middle school kids, there are always going to be people you don't like.  Or that don't like you.  You just do what you can to be a happy person and to get along with everyone.  And then maybe avoid the people who are icky!  Peace out for today...

Inspirational Thursday

Folks,

I can't remember if I sent an email out yesterday? Oh my goodness! Yesterday was a bit of a crazy day! So...I probably did not! The end of the school year is coming up...and it's nutty! We have kids transferring out of the wazoo!!!

Anyway, with the crazy days and what seems like even crazier nights (so they might not actually be crazy...i'm just lazy) I have not worked out! Oh my goodness, my goal for just the week is not working! Am I going to let that ruin my week? Heck no! Why, you ask? Because, I have been really watching what I eat! So, I'm still losing weight! Am I losing a ton at a time? No, I'm losing a few ounces here and a few ounces there. But that will all add up!

I once read (sorry if I have already said this) losing weight is all about what you are eating! You don't even have to excercise! On one hand that is great news, but on the other...being skinny but not being toned...There is a picture that I love of a gal (I'm looking at pinterest trying to find it). In one picture she weighs 120 or something and in the she weighs 135 or something. But she looks so much better in the 135 pic, because she is toned! So, while you can lose weight by just eating. Try to do both if you can, so that you wil get all of the benefits and be able to eat more! Ha ha ha...it's all about the food!

Okay, I think I'm outta things to say...a short email? Amy that is unheard of! Folks, love on yourself a little bit more today! Let yourself know that it's okay to be proud of yourself and to work hard! It's okay to reward yourself once you have reached a goal. Be it a big goal or a small one! Being proud of yourself and rewarding yourself are the ways that you will continue to do great things for yourself! Be happy today with yourself! With your life! I'm in a reflective mood...Hug your family, hug yourself, enjoy the weather! Just be happy with today!

Oh dear...a little embarrassing!

You know when someone says you have food in your teeth, but you haven't eaten for hours...and you wonder how long has it been there?  Something like that just happened to me...but not with food.  Let me explain!  Just know that I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or not...

I give tours at my school!  97% of the time, I love to give the tours.  There are only a few times where it feels weird...and it's usually the family!  If they are too quiet...well today was a little weird because I felt as if I kept stuttering and was talking funny.  But anyway that is besides the point.  I did the entire tour!  We went to the gym, down the Explo Hall, up to the library on the 2nd floor, then up to the 3rd floor to see the 6th grade hall!  Then it back downstairs to check out the office- my desk, nurse, counselors, principal & asst. principal, then I had to get the paperwork.  What does this have to do with my being embarrassed   Well, after I was done and had said goodbye, my friend Jennah...says...Turn around!  So, I do and she points out that my zipper on my skirt has broken!

Here is the embarrassing part...I am not sure when this happened!!!  Did it happen earlier today?  Or within the last few minutes!  Surely someone would have said something right?  But who would?  The middle schoolers?  The good news is...is that my shirt was covering my undies!  They are only a neon green with pink palm trees.  So that would not have been noticeable ..wait what?!?!?!?!  Dear Jesus, thank you for letting me pick a long t-shirt to wear with my skirt today!  So, I guess the better news is...is that I didn't know it was broken before the tour.  It would have made for a really awkward tour!

This was an embarrassing thing after the fact...it is no where near the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me!  So, I'm kind of over it!  But it was pretty funny!  I went to the Nurse to get some safety pins to hold it together for the last hour!  All is good with the world!  Ha ha ha!

Miller Marley's 50th Celebration

This weekend my Dance Studio celebrated it's 50th year in business!  We had a wonderful formal event with a sit down dinner and an amazing show!  It was such a perfect night...it went better than anyone could have anticipated!  You can picture an event, but you can't picture the energy the room is going to have!  And this room was filled with the most amazing energy!  There were only a few things that would have made this night better.  They are...if my sister, brother-in-law, and Curt could have been there.  It would have been absolutely perfect!

All of the troupes at my studio performed!  Kids ranging in age from 5-18!  There are okay dancers and amazing dancers!  It's just so much fun to see them perform with all of the love of dance shining on their faces!  It was also fun, because a few (cough- 13 years ago) that was me!  And they have their whole lives in front of them to dream and become whatever they want!  It was just cool!  Then there were Alumni performers who have performed on Broadway, in the Rockettes, and in Professional gigs all over the world!  They were obviously amazing!!!  I wasn't sure whether or not to hate them for their talent or to be in awe!

Most of the people who performed were within 5 years of me age wise.  And I think...well...that is who I group up around.  I mean...who grows up with 10 kids and 8 of them performed on Broadway?  That is just crazy!  I once remember someone telling me that was a great performer.  I said thank you but walked away confused...because everyone that I grew up with performed like I did...or better than I did!  Ha ha ha!  It really is amazing!  Sometimes I look back and think...I wish I would taken dance or singing more seriously.  But I didn't!  It wasn't what I loved to do!  I loved to perform!  And Saturday was just an amazing night watching all of these people who also love to perform...and it's all because of one woman!  Shirley Marley!

So much talent and so much heart all wrapped up in one woman!  It's just amazing!  On person put it perfectly...they said "Shirley you will never know the number of people you have reached.  It doesn't just stop with the kids you actually taught.  But it goes on to who your students teach, and who they teach and who they teach!"  And that is true!  I choreograph now and the kids who I teach dances too are learning what I learned from my studio!  She is just amazing!

Okay, that is all I'm going to say about Saturday!  Megan, we all missed you and said all night...darn it, we should have figured out a way to get you here!  But I don't think anyone expected the night to go how it went!  Can't wait until you come in next month!!!

Here is my one picture that I have right now!  Here I am with a very talented high school-er  Lauren.  Thanks to her mom who sent me this picture!

Inspirational Monday

Wow, I have totally gotten out of the habit of emailing you all on Saturday's! I'm so sorry for that! I have been a little busy! And not around a computer!

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well!!! Happy Mother's Day to those of you who are mothers! I am the mother of a puppy named Chandler and he really celebrated me by sleeping in until 7:45 yesterday! Woot Woot! He normally starts crying around 6:45 (when we go out during the week), so I was pretty happy about the hour of sleeping in!

This weekend I did not really care what I ate! I went to Worlds of Fun on Friday and had a buffett. I did not eat a lot, but when I was done my stomach hurt a little bit. I knew that I had eaten more that night than I had for the week. Saturday day was not too bad, but Saturday evening I went to a formal event and had paid $65 for my meal. So you better believe that I ate everything that was offered to me! I really wanted to also eat my sister's cheesecake, but I was feeling full so I let the waiter take it! Yay for the small things!!! Then yesterday was Mother's Day! I ate as if I didn't care about eating healthy!!! I had french onion dip and chips all day, I ate brownies (notice how I didn't tell you how many brownies...that is because I don't even know), and a burger! And that was all for lunch! For dinner I ate ceral because I was so tired of eating...ha ha ha! I don't think that is a good thing...ha ha ha!

Here are my words of wisdom for week 7 of this workout! Just do it! I weighed myself this morning, and I had gained a little bit...but I overall felt good! Now I'm back in the game. This morning it was my best friend at work's birthday (okay it was yesterday...but I didn't get to celebrate it with her) so I bought her and myself Starbucks this morning! Then I'm eating a light lunch and hopefully a healthy dinner or at least go for a walk in this amazing weather! Just get out there and start! Don't wait for a special moment to begin! It won't happen! Don't wait for a certain event to be over...because there is always another event following that! In my life, my sisters in-laws are flying in this weekend. They are like my second set of parents...so I know we will eating stuff! Then the weekend after that is the Dance Recital! I know that is a weekend for celebration...which means eating! Then I'm moving...and that will mean pizza for anyone who wants to help me out...and myself! So...if I kept saying after this thing, or after that thing...before I know it...it would be 2014 and I will not have lost a lb!

So, start now! Start today! Then do what you need to do if situation occurs! Adjust your eating or your mind set! Or eat before a party so that you aren't hungry at the party! Or drink a ton of water and then you won't be hungry either! You don't have to deny yourself anything...just don't eat everything!

We have been doing this for 7 weeks so far! You all can do this! If you have not started, you are doing fine! Jump in today! Make better food choices today! Go outside and walk today! Even if it is in the evening! Do it! For yourself! For your family!

Say this to yourself: I am not perfect! I don't have to be perfect! I just have to try and be the best I can be! I can jump in today and know that I am not behind! I am exactly where I should be and I have the courage to be better! I deserve to be better! I am an awesome person! It's time I knew what the world already knows!

A small rant!

Can we talk about fair for just a second?   I hate when things aren't fair!  I guess I should explain what I mean when I say fair...because we have all the term "Life is not fair" from our folks, friends, co-workers.  So, when I say I want things to be fair, I don't really mean that.  I know there are some things in life that just won't be "fair".  For example last night we were having a talk about maternity leave.  Is it fair that a woman who is having a baby gets to go on Maternity leave and I don't because I'm not having a baby?  I think that is fair...because why should I get to go on vacation for 6 weeks just to go!  It's not as if a new mom is just living the life- going to Europe!  They aren't sleeping, they have a baby who is crying and if you are a new mom...it might be overwhelming!  I mean they have a baby for crying out loud!  When the 6 weeks is over they have to decide if they go back to work or stay home!  And on top of that...it's not as if they get 6 weeks every year!  They get it once, and they have to work really hard for 9 months and then really really hard for who knows how long before they get this maternity leave prize.  If you are complaining about that...then you need to get a life!

I'm talking about the kind of fair where someone or a group always does something...but if it serves them...they will change up the rules!  Let me think of an example, without incriminating myself...all of my examples are sounding lame and they don't make sense.  In my district you can transfer from school to school.  Everything has to be approved, but it's kind of an unknown rule that says, if you want to transfer you can!  Right now, they are stopping transfers for a certain grade because they don't want to hire another teacher.  And that is where the unfair thing comes in.  My thoughts are, don't let anyone transfer (unless for very special reasons) and we won't have this issue!  I could easily say It is hard to get transferred to another school.  I'm so sorry.  Instead right now I have to say, I'm sorry I don't know what to tell you.  I don't know why they aren't transferring your student...or I understand that they transferred your older student but not your younger one.

Yesterday I decided to send any calls about transfers over too the person who is in charge of the transfers.  They would have more information than I will.  They will also know the type of phone calls we get when the transfers are taking a long time.  It's a win win for me!  Okay, I'm over it!

The other thing I want to talk about is Rice Crispy Treats!  They are just amazing!  I'm talking about the homemade ones...I mean...just yummy!  I want to eat the entire pan!

Tonight I get to go Worlds of Fun!  I'm so excited and hope to have a few pics!  I really should get better at taking pics...and then posting them!  Maybe I will try to make that a habit!

Alright, I'm a little tired of ranting and my rice crispy treat is gone...I'm peacing out!

Inspirational Friday

Hello Folks,

Alright, since last Saturday...I have really been trying to eat better! You all hear about this every day...but it's paying off! I have lost 3lbs this week! I lost weight, then I gained weight, then I lost a few more...folks it does work! Has it been easy? Um....NOOOOOOO!!! I should post a pic of all of the food and homemade desserts that we have here! It's ridiculous! But, I have come through on top!

Yesterday I was doing great...I ate a salad at lunch and then had 1 cupcake! I was not even tempted to eat anything else! And I was thinking go me!!! Until I got a phone call at 3:00! It was an annoying phone call about things that are affecting the lives of the people I work with. There is not much I can do about the issue, excpet suck it up. But it's an issue of people being stingy with money! And when it's for a silly reason...it makes me a little annoyed. So, I did what they told me to do and then got up from my desk so angry! Everyone was gone...and I walked into the teachers lounge and got another cupcake! Then I was so mad because I let my anger get the best of me...and caused me to eat when I didn't want too! The only good thing about it, was the fact that the cupcake was amazing! Thank goodness, that would have been even more terrible! I walked up to the Receptionist and told her that I was so mad at this person then at myself. She said are you going to put that in your email? So, this is for you Jennah!

I am a total emotional eater! I'm so happy, let's have ice cream! I'm so sad, let's make brownies! I'm so "insert whatever emotion you want too" let's eat (insert any food you want)! It is something that I am trying to work on. To really listen to my body to hear if it's actually hungry. And when it's saying I'm hungry I try and listen to see if it's actually thirsty (bcause half of the time when you are feeling hungry, you are actually thirsty- crazy)!

For me, I have lost 3 lbs...and that is not really anything to write home about. But, as I said yesterday and probably several times before...celebrate your accomplishments. Just not with food! Feel proud of yourself! I know my folks really help me get motivated! The Wednesday before I really started watching what I ate, my folks went "All In"! My mom had started losing weight...and that motivated me to really work on it! This morning my mom said "I have lost weight, but you can't tell". She wasn't saying this to be "Debbie Downer" or anything, it was more of a "You might not be able to tell, but I have done it and am excited about it"! Of course I'm so excited for her! And that motivated me even more to keep up the healthy eating and the excercising!

That hard work is all on her! Just like another reader on here has lost weight and fit into pants that she hasn't been in in a few years! That is all her! I might have gotten this whole thing started, but I can't make anyone workout or eat healthy! That is something you have to do on your own! So, for all of you that have seen some progress! For all of you that are working hard and getting fit! Way to rock! I am so proud and honored to have been able to jump start this journey! You all motivated and jump started my journey as well! For those of you who have not started yet...you suck! I'm totally kidding! There is still time! You are not behind! Just jump in with both feet! You are on step one by at least being aware of what you are eating or how much you are working out. Move on out to step #2! You can totally do this! It's not as hard as it seems! I mean, it took me 5 weeks to start losing weight! The goal is in your reach! It's realistic! If it is not...then make it realistic! Sometimes I get crazy when I see these uber skinny models...and I think wow! I want to look like that! But I also want to eat a cupcake! And I don't have the luxury to workout every single day! So, that is my choice! My goal is not to be a VS model (although if they wanted me cupcake eating and all...I might change my tune)! Free under garmets...right? I love free stuff!

Okay, wrapping up my ranting! Set a realistic goal for yourself and then let your self reach for it! You all can do this! I know you can! You all know that everyone else in the group can...so why not you?

Tell yourself this: You are not perfect! You don't have to be perfect! But if you try your hardest and work hard you will see the rewards in your life! Do this for yourself! Be proud of who you are and what you have and can accomplish! You are amazing! Everyone else already knows this, now it's time for you to know it!!!

Inspirational Thursday

Hello All,

So, remember yesterday I woke up and weighed more? I was so sad...but it made me think all day long about how happy I was when the scale went down and said I was when it went up...so I ate healthy all day! When I was starting to get hungry at 11pm I quickly drank a glass of water. I had a salad and 3 mini desserts for lunch and then meatloaf with veggies for dinner. Let's not forget my snack of a graham cracker and icing! I did not deprive myself of anything, I just didn't eat everything in sight! Go me! So this morning when I stepped on the scale...I was down again!!! And I was down even more than the day before!!! Oops, I did not tell you all...but I worked out as well!

That was a great start to the day! I am wearing my jeans that are too tight for me...but that is okay! They aren't as bad as they were a few weeks ago! It's also treat day (as well as staff appreciation day) so I'm trying to be good when eating! I have a banana as well as a few mini donuts! I'm hoping that is all I eat for breakfast! I'm not sure what "picnic day" means...but that is what we are having for lunch! I want to eat super healthy today because tonight I'm going to a meeting...and I'm bringing "Chocolate Lasagna"!!! I think I can make it somewhat healthy...or at least healthier...but I want to be able to eat it without feeling super bad!

Folks, I hope you all are doing well out there in your real world! Get excited about the small stuff so that you stay excited and motivated! Eat right, excercise, and enjoy the weather as it slowly moves away from cold (hopefully) and moves into Spring!!! Try walking outside, it's amazing how fun that will feel, especially after the crazy weather we have had here. Enjoy the sun, enjoy the sprinkles, enjoy not having to wear a winter coat and gloves! Summer is right around the corner and we are getting healthy just in time to enjoy it!!!

Say to yourself, I can do this!!! I need to focus on the small accomplishments that I have achieved and not always look at the long term goal (which might be uber far away)! I deserve to treat myself well. I'm going to listen to the people around me who say positive things to me and ignore the ones that don't! Focus on the good today! Focus on just today!!! I can do this!!!

Inspirational Wednesday

Yay for it being Wednesday!!! This morning is a bit dreary, but don't let that get you down!!! So, yesterday we had Papa John's pizza for lunch at school. If you didn't read my email from earlier this week, it's Teacher Appreciation Week! We get lunch every day this week! So, the first day I did great and had a Salad! I did eat 3 desserts, but I drank a ton of water and ate a salad. For dinner I had a small helping of tuna casserole and then worked out! I lost .5lbs!

Yesterday I had a piece of pizza with the garlic sauce and a salad. Then I ate 2 desserts...for dinner I brought home some pizza for my nephews and niece who I was babysitting! I ate 2 pieces with a lot of the garlic sauce! But let's be honest, that stuff is amazing!!! We all went to a Stings concert and I had stored away some desserts for them to eat! I also had a dessert...and I don't think I drank as much water. Today it shows that I gained .5lbs!

So, that is how my morning started off! I was a little mad since I ate a salad..but if I'm honest with myself...I can see that I ate 3 cookie cupcakes with reese's peanut butter cups in the middle. I did not work out and I did not drink the same amount of water! I can sit here all I want and blame everything outside of myself, but that is a waste of my time. I am the reason that I gained the weight! I did not eat right! I did not excercise! I did not drink the water I needed too!

So, what am I going to do about it? I'm already drinking my water, I'm going to make better choices at lunch, and I'm going to workout! That did not seem so hard! I'm going to forget about the scale until tomorrow, I'm going to forget that I ate more pizza than I should have and ate enough desserts for a small family! I'm just going to move on to a new day!

Yes, people, it's that easy! Just forgive yourself for the mistake you made and start again! You can also use this in real life, but I feel as if I have written about it! The main thing is to forgive yourself! Don't hold on to what you ate last week or how if you would have started eating better years ago you wouldn't be in this mess! You can't change that! But you can change how you eat in the future! You can change how pictures are going to look! You can change how you feel about yourself when you look into the mirror every morning! You can do that! Only you can do that!

Say to yourself, I can make myself feel better about me! Only I can change my future! Only I can change my eating habits! I will stop blaming things and start working that much harder! I will start today because I can! I will start today, because I deserve to do this for myself! I deserve all of the best things in life! I can be the best I can be!

Inspirational Tuesday

Alright folks, I'm on day 3 of really eating right! And I have lost 1 pound already! I have walked both days, but it's not crazy walking where you can't breathe. It's just walking around the neighborhood looking at people's houses. Trying to see which landscape you like best! I will say, no one really knows how to do landscaping! Very few houses look good! Then I also went to dance class last night!

I mean, you can really do so much with actually not doing anything at all! I am watching what I eat, but I still had a churro, cheese cake thing, and a cookie! It's not as if I ate one piece of lettuce all day! Folks, if you have been ignoring the workout part, this should be revolutionary for you!!! I mean, how many times have you read...you have to eat less than you burn. So, figure out how much you are burning and then eat less than that if you want to loose! I mean...it's crazy!!! I once read that losing weight is all about the diet...and that is a fact! But how fast you want to loose weight will depend on how much you burn!

Here is the bottom line- anyone can do this! I have been saying it for 5 weeks now, you are no exception! You can make the right choice, you can eat right, you can workout...you are no different in that way! Don't make the excuse that your body just won't let you lose weight! (If you are eating healthy and working out and still gaining....like a lot not just muscle weight...you might want to see a Dr.) For the rest of us normal folk, we gained weight the normal way. Eating the entire pan of brownies while vegging on the couch watching TV! For those of you who have had kids, that is a normal way to gain weight! Chosing to park in the closest parking space...instead of the farthest one. Someone who used to have muscle, but no longer goes to the gym will gain weight! I mean...there are several ways and choices that we have made to get to where we are today. It did not happen in one day...it happened over years and years!

The good news is...is that it can stop today! You can change all of that today!!! This is not a life condition! How you feel about yourself and your body image can start to change today! But you have to work for it! You have to take off the Rose colored I can't do it glasses! They aren't going to do anything but bring you down! Don't get me wrong, if you don't like yourself from the inside out...I'm not sure if you will ever like yourself from the outside in! You can lose 100 lbs, be a VS model or GQ for you guys out there...and you might still be down on yourself! There is an inner love and acceptance of yourself that you have to reach before your looks even start to play a factor in your life! But if you love yourself already, then the only thing standing in your way...is yourself! So, move! Get out of your own way! Do things for yourself and don't listen to anyone who trys to bring you down!

I can't remember if it's weight watchers or slim for life, but one of those things has people called "Feeders". These are all of the people that will try to bring you down. It's not always in a mean way, but these people will say things like "I don't want to be the only one eating ice cream, will you have some with me?" or "You don't need to loose weight, you could use this pasta". Those are the nice ones...then there is the mean feeder, the one who is mad because you are losing weight...so they say things like "You might as well eat this, you aren't any where near your goal anyway.". All three of these feeder types will stand in your way! They will take your mind to a bad place! You can be your own feeder as well they kind that says "If I eat this now, no one will know that I cheated". Don't let anyone stand in your way! If you have a goal, then go out and reach your goal! You can reach your goal! You can change the way you feel! You can be and do anything that you put your mind too! And don't you ever let anyone else tell you that you can't!!!

Say to yourself, I will not give up! I will keep on fighting to reach my goal! I can do this and I deserve this!!! I am proud of how far I have come and I will be even more porud once I reach my goal! No one can stand in my way...myself included! I am doing this for me!!! I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but I will learn from my mistakes! I will be the best that I can be! I can do this!!!

I have 2 things to say...

I have a few things to talk about...

1.  Last night Curt and I were having a conversation about my old boyfriends.  It sounds weird, but I always laugh because he dated so many people and I did not really date anyone.  As he said "You have had 4 boyfriends and you will have married 50% of them.  Har har har!  Okay, so that was actually pretty funny, when you think about it.  But lets move on to the real topic of #1.  We were going through the dates and I was just rattling them off.  Curt got kind of upset.  To be honest, I'm not sure what really made him mad.  After I was talking about my Ex, he said well that was quick.  I took it as, the fact that we started dating 6 months after I got divorced.  He said, that is not what I meant.  He was upset that I could name the dates of so quickly!  I didn't apologize or anything for knowing that stuff, but I felt bad that it hurt his spirit!  I wasn't sure what to say...so I didn't really say anything!!!  He was fine a few seconds later (he gets over everything really quickly) but it was a bit weird.  For the record, I was just mentioning months and years...not even days.  Even though I do know those as well...way to not go into details.  Here is the funny thing, I kept saying that Curt and I started dating in '06...I was listing dates...but almost the entire time I was off by 2 years.  So, do I really know the dates?  Ha ha ha...

2.  Last night I was over at Curt's house until 1:40!  Yikes!!!  And I mean yikes, especially when I have to be at school at 7:30.  Today was his day off (what a brat)!  Anyway, we watched Footloose and then Dirty Dancing!  It was so fun!  We talked and at one point Curt actually said "This is like when we first started dating, remember when you got no sleep?"  When Curt and I first started dating I was working at a place with flex hours.  They didn't care when you worked as long as you got in your 40 hours!  But that did not stop me from going in at 8am!  We would be at rehearsal, then we would go to his house (he didn't have a car and couldn't drive...so I would drive him home) and just hang out until 1, 2 or 3 am every night!  We would sometimes talk and sometimes set our alarms for 3am just so we could sleep!  It was rough for me, because I had a job and he didn't!  So, for about a 45 days, I got no sleep!  Then I got laid off from work, so that took care of that problem!  Ha haha!  So last night, I left Curt's house, got home, and was in bed by 2:10!  6am came really early today...I might need a nap!

I guess that is all for now!  That was my evening last night!!!

Inspirational Monday

Who got up today on the first day of the second half of the workout and actually worked out?

Not me, but I did get up to shower! If you know me...that is kind of a big deal! Ha ha ha, but I do have a plan to workout later on this evening!

I started off my day with a bown of Cocoa Crispies, which migh not be the most healthy...but by the time I made breakfast...I wanted to eat pop tarts, muffins, pancakes, and cinnamon rolls. I am very hungry when I wake up in the morning! So, I felt pretty good! I found out this week that it's Teacher Appreciation week! 

Which means, that our amazing PTO feed us this whole week! It's amazing, but it's not exactly healthy! I'm going to have to work really hard at that!

But I'm ready to see some results! This morning I weighed .5 less than I did yesterday! It doesn't sound like a lot, but when you are trying to lose weight in a non crazy way...losing .5 lbs is great! So, I'm think more in a postive manner today! I can do this, I can eat right!

Can we just explain what eating right means. I'm sure there are people out there who might disagree with me...but it's more about portion control (at least for me)! I can not not have a cookie...if I want it and I say no..then the next day I'm going to want it more. And if I deny myself for too long, then I'm going to end up eating the entire box of Mint Oreo's! Wow, I love those things and really could eat an entire bag or box..or tray! So, for me...it's about not eating the whole thing of oreo's...but only eating two. For example last night we ate salad! It was really good! But a few hours later I'm a bit hungry and I wanted something sweet! So, I went in and had a graham cracker with a little bit of icing! If I wasn't watching what I was eating...I would have brought the whole box with me. I would have also brought the icing into the family room with me. I would have sat down and eaten the entire sleeve of graham crackers all piled high with an inch of icing!

I have to be okay with that! I'm still eating the sweets I love...I just don't have to eat the sweets as if they are never going to be here again...like twinkies! Yum! Okay, so go out today, eat better than you did yesterday! Don't deprive yourself of stuff that you love! But also know that it will still be there in the future! You can do this! You can make the healthy choice! You can improve yourself all by yourself! I know you can! As my mom once again pointed out yesterday...if you don't do this for yourself then the only person it hurts is yourself! So, do this for yourself! Know that you deserve for people to say "Dang girl (or man) you are looking so good! Have you lost weight?!?!?!" or "What are you doing different...you look amazing!!!"! You will also hear this "I'm so proud of your hard work, it's really paying off! Look at my tushy!- said by you when looking in the mirror! People will say this, it might not be today or tomorrow...but if you work hard you can do this!!! You will say this...and you are allowed to say it every day! You will notice the little things before anyone else does...and it's okay to be proud! You are working hard! You deserve to be the best you can be! You deserve to notice your hard work and to praise yourself for your work! Rock this out! You can do it!

Tell yourself that you can do it! You can feel good from the inside out and look good (to yourself- we all know you look great) from the outside in! You deserve the praise you are working so hard for! You deserve the best this world can offer! You are loved, by others and also by yourself...if you can let go! Are you perfect? Heck no! That is what makes everyone so amazing and interesting! But you can work hard to be the best you can be! I'm proud of you all and now you can be proud of yourself!

P.S. It's mexican food day for Teacher appreciation week. I got a salad and churro! Not too bad...Go me! Praise even the small stuff!!!  

Um...is it time to worry? Nah!

I'm moving into my new apartment in less than a month!  I am finding a few things hard...

1.  It still seems far away in my mind.  That is probably because my mind has not even comprehended the fact that it's May already!  It's not even May 1st any more...it's May 6th already!  I know in advance that this week is going to fly...and then it will be the middle of May!  Boy time sure is flying!

2.  It is hard to plan how to decorate with a non-existent budget and less knowledge of what the space is going to look like!  I mean, I have seen pictures of what the apartment looks like, but those aren't even accurate.  I have also looked at an apartment that was like ours...but it was the same one from the pics.  The floors are all wood...and our apartment won't be that way!  Plus, Curt has said I have a table...but I can't picture exactly what the table looks like...so overall I'm having a hard time getting ready to go!

3.  The one thing that I keep thinking about is the Laundry Room!  It's more of a closet with a washer on one end and the dryer on the other!  I want to put some shelving up or a cabinet...but we aren't sure if we are allowed to do that or if there is even room.  So, we will have to wait until we move in for that little party!

I am very excited to be moving in with Curt!  It has been nice as well, because he is also very excited!  Of course that is nice, but he is not always one to share what he is feeling..so it has been nice to hear him say "I can't wait to move in with you" and other sweet things like that!  Now, if I can just get motivated to do something!  I guess I keep waiting for a free weekend, but that weekend does not exhist in my book!  I need to actually schedule a time when I will sit down and start packing!  You know?  Or to sit down and see what my parents have in their basement, that I can have.  That type of stuff is what I'm looking for now!  Or should be looking for.  Ha haha!  I did buy a banana bread pan at the Giant Sale!!!  I don't have anything to make the break with...but I have the actual pan!

Oh my goodness, you know what I just thought about?  We don't have anything food wise...I mean...I knew we didn't have pans or bowls or dishes or utensils...but we have no food!  We have nothing, no flour, no sugar...no cans of green beans.  People, I need to do a food drive for myself!  Maybe I can have a house warming party where everyone brings a can of something!  Oh dear...I have forgotten that when you move in you have nothing...(deep breaths...) okay, so I'm not as nervous as I sound, it was just weird to think about! I won't go crazy buying everything in the store...I will wait until I need something then go out and buy it!

Okay, that is enough complaining, venting, worrying, for today!  Let's just get excited that it's May 6th, the sun should be out today, and it's supposed to be 70!!!

Inspirational Friday

I am pretty sure I say this every week, but I'm exhausted! I have not even worked out this week (except for Monday)! But it has just be a go go go type of week! I am pretty sure I said this every day, but I'm overall happy with my eating! Although yesterday being treat day...I did not eat healthy! I ate all of the desserts that I could! Maybe that is why I'm feeling so tired today.

Here is a proud moment for me...last night I got home from small group. I was not hungry, but I had not eaten since 6ish and it was 10:30ish. So I wanted to eat something. And by something I mean something sweet! I had a glass of milk in my hand and was heading upstairs to eat a butterfinger and drink my milk! But I stopped myself and went and put the milk away! Go me! Go me!

Yesterday I was looking at Pinterest. I have a "Be Healthy" board that I pin excercises too! (If you don't know what Pinterest is, it's an online webiste that has just about anything on there. From crafts to recipies, to great vacation spots. If you like something you can "pin" it to your own boards so that you can find it later on. Anyway, I saw a workout thing that said "4 steps to Lose 10lbs in 1 month". I thought that was actually resonable and not sooo out of the question. So, I went to the website to check it out. Everything was totally do-able (except one thing) I can drink more water, I can control the portions that I eat, and I can excercise! When I read the step that said cut out all sugar...this challenge became a blur! I didn't even pin it, that is how turned off I was by this challenge. But today, I'm feeling so blah! And I wonder, would I actually feel that much better if I changed my eating habits? I am not saying that I'm going to cut out sugar...that seems extreme or not very long term! But if I tried to eat healthier, not just smaller portions, but more fruits and veggies...would that make a difference?

I kind of want to find out! Will I be able to cut out all sweets? Who knows! The thought of doing that right now, makes me a little nervous...and kind of angry. Which is probalby a good indication that I should cut them out! Will it cost a little more to go healthy? Yes, and I hate that! But hopefully with the summer coming up...I would like to try to visit the Farmer's market! Sarah, you have talked about doing this as well...we should go together! I'm feeling a bit full of excuses...but with the nicer weather coming next week...it makes me want to eat more fruit! So, hopefully that will help! But I don't want to to put the blame on anyone but myself! If I want to change my eating...then I am going to have to suck it up or deal with it! The good news is, is that I believe I can do it! I believe it will be hard! I believe it's going to suck! But I can do this! And if I can do this, I can see if food is the reason I'm so tired! And if it is, I will probably be feeling better and be happy that I changed my eating! So, suck it Amy...for now and see if it's better!

I'm going to have to start tonight after school...because I brought my lunch! But I can toss out the cookies that I have! I can do this! There is a saying from my Brother-in-Law, Mishi's, company Roozt. They say be the change you want to see! So, if I want to see a change in my apprearance...then I have to act on that and change things that I'm donig. So, the saying might not go as well with food as it does for the whole world....but you all get what I'm saying! You can do anything! It's going to be hard, it might not be fun, but it will make you strong and it will make you happy that you are changing!!!

Are you saying things out loud to yourself? You can do anything that you put your mind too! If you want to change something, all you have to do is act on it! You are not perfect, but have the ability to try and be your best! You are awesome and deserve the best! You are Amazing!!!

Inspirational Thursday

Hello People,

How are you all doing on this dreary Thursday morning? I am doing pretty good! So, my week 5 is not going how I wanted it too, in the workout department. I feel that eating wise, I'm still doing a great job!

When this week began, I was not thinking about a super busy schedule. I was not thinking about going from one job to the Giant Sale! It has been crazy! Crazy fun, but still crazy! The good news is that I have been up and walking around the whole time. Would I call that "working out"? Probably not, but it has to be better than sitting on the couch! And I'm not just eating anything and everything, I'm eating what they make...which has been pretty healthy and tasty!!! So, while I'm not overly joyed with my non-workout week...I'm not exactly upset about it either.

The good news is (and it's always the good news) is that tomorrow is another day! So, if this day isn't going the way you want it too...you can make tomorrow better!!! There is something really awesome about that...getting the chance to go to sleep and wake up to a new day! How many times have you heard "Let's talk about it in the morning" or "Things will look better in the morning". Will all of your issues go away over night? No! Will you magically loose weight over night...but we all know that a nights sleep does affect your weight!

The point is, to not hold on to a bad day! To let go of the day's stress and wake up with a fresh start!

We talk a lot (and by we I mean me) about how it's okay to do stuff for yourself. When I say this type of thing, I'm normally talking about eating right or taking time to excercise...but this also might mean to do something for yourself! If you are exhausted (which what adult is not) do something that will relax you! If that means putting your kids down at 8pm and then going to bed yourself...do that! If you need to take a relaxing bath...then arrange it with whoever you need too and do that! You have to take care of yourself and that does not only mean food wise! It will be a much harder battle if you aren't attacking it from all sides!

So, your goal tonight is to treat yourself! Do whatever is going to make you happy and relaxed! Remember that you being good to yourself will make you happier, which will make the people around you happier! So, don't feel bad about this! Don't feel anything but peace when doing something for yourself! Love yourself, it's the only way to go!

Tell yourself yet again, that you deserve the best! You can achieve anything that you put your mind too, and that you love yourself enough to take care of yourself! 

Irrational Fears

Okay, last night on my way home from the Giant Sale at my church, I started thinking about walking my dog at my new apartment.  Right now, I walk up the street of my parents neighborhood.  It's a street they have lived on since I was 10.  So, it's not scary!  Actually, I can scare myself anywhere, but it's a safe street, no matter what my mind tells me.  So, I'm thinking about walking Chandler, and I don't know where I'm going to walk him, or how I will feel when I walk him...and then I thought what if I'm kidnapped...then I started thinking about what if soemone in my family was kidnapped...and then I thought about all of the kids who are kidnapped when they are little and then found again when they are like 20...

As you can see...my fears were running a little wild.  I wish I could say that this was something new for me...but it's not.  I have these type of fears all the time.  They don't stop me from doing anything...but they do  make me create escape plans from where ever I am.  They also make me stay so alert...that even when an old man in my neighborhood is running in the morning, I prepare myself to be attacked.  Can we say crazy?!?!?!

Does anyone else have these thoughts?  I have these thoughts about Chandler going missing, getting out and running, or being taken!!!  And he is just a dog!  I think, should I have him micro-chipped?  At least that way I can find him!  I have gotten the call a few times that says "Your dog is at 115th and Greenwood, he must have gotten out"!  It's a scary things...and once again...he is just a dog!  If I let myself get carried away I could go nuts about my nephews and niece!  I probably watch too much Criminal minds....but for real parents...does that fear ever go away?  Do "normal" people even have this fear?  Or does it become a second nature feeling that is always with you and makes you more aware of your surroundings and where your kids are!?!?!

Oh man...I need to start thinking about something else...

It's supposed to snow tomorrow.  The only thing that makes that okay...is if we can have a snow day on Friday.  I'm thinking with 2, 80 degree days and a 70 degree day...a snow day is not going to happen!  So, therefore this snow should not happen!  It would be awesome though...I'm just saying!

Today, I'm going to start writing a Christmas play for my church Christmas Program!  It was keeping me awake last night...so I need to get it out of my head!  I'm off to write...about wonderful things like Jesus being born!

Inspirational Wednesday

Hello folks,

This week is a crazy week. My church is having a Giant Sale (it's a giant garage sale) and well I have been working there every day after school. So, I get to my school job at 7:30, leave at 4:00, go to the Giant Sale at 4:20, and leave there between 8:30 and 9:00pm. Needless to say, I have not been doing the workout. Which means, that have been really trying to eat less and a little more healthy than normal. Here was my issue with that!

At the Giant Sale, if you volenteer, they feed you! So, last night was chicken and rice with salad and bread. I had a piece of chicken and some salad (rice is not my favorite..unless it's fried!!!). I felt great about what I ate and felt it was a good amount. Well, let's roll on to 11pm. I can't sleep. I got in bed at 10am and am having a hard time falling asleep. Then all of a sudden...this hunger pain like no other comes upon me! I mean, it's the headache hunger...I think I am going to have to eat something...so I have two snack size Butterfingers. I lay back down and fall asleep shortly after. I was a little annoyed that I had to eat those Butterfingers, since I was trying to be good. But what are you going to do. It was the closest thing to a snack that I had!

Once again I'm going to say this...sometimes you are going to eat things that you should not! Sometimes you are going to eat enough food to feed a small army. Sometimes you are going to have a cookie sundae for dinner instead of real food (no, that is just me?). Sometimes you are going to eat when you aren't hungry because you decided to snack when you got off work...while you were making dinner, and sometimes you are going to go out to eat at 11pm! You have a few choices, you can feel guilty about every time you fail or do something that you aren't supposed to do. Which could then lead to a negative attitude about yourself, your life, or your ability to do anything. Or you can pick yourself back up, forgive yourself for whatever it is that you think you did wrong...and start again!

If you can learn to forgive yourself and move past it...you are going to be able to start again. Let's be honest, this goes for more than just food. How many times have you "failed" at something and been mad at yourself for years? When I was little, I used to lie. I would get caught and my parents would have me write sentences. "I will not lie". I would go beyond their punishment and punish myself by writing the sentence "I hate myself" or something along those dramatic lines. Then my parents would make me write the sentence "I love myself" over and over after I turned in the first two sets of sentences. So, if I could have just forgiven myself it would have been a lot less work. Learn to forgive!

Now, don't get me wrong...when you forgive yourself...that does not mean that you get to go out and do it again. You can't eat 3 gallons of ice cream, forgive yourself and then do it again the next night. If you eat the ice cream, forgive yourself and learn from the mistake. This forgiving thing works if you want to get better! I know that I should keep granola or dried fruit in my room, so that I can snack on that...instead of Butterfingers. Or that if I am not able to workout, I need to watch what I eat. Or if I eat too much, maybe I could try to workout extra...it's about balanace...not holding a grudge against yourself!

Say this out loud to yourself:

I'm not perfect! It's okay that I'm not perfect! However, I am going to try to be the best person that I can be! I deserve to be the best me, I can be! I deserve the best in life! I am allowed to do things for myself without feeling guilty! I can accomplish anything I put my mind too! I can do this!!!

Okay folks...peace out!