So, I'm trying to go back to school! I have been thinking about going back to school for the past couple of years! It's been annoying, because there are no "quick" programs for me to take! Each program is 2-3 years- depending on what I wanted to teach!
This past summer, I really started thinking about it. I talked with my friends and family! And as my sister pointed out- whether you start the 2 year program today or in a few years, it's still going to be 2 years! You might as well start now! It made sense! So, I really started to look into the process.
I had it narrowed down to an online school in Wisconsin to get my teaching degree in FACS! It was going to be hard, since some of the classes weren't offered online and I was going to have to find them around town. But I am not afraid of hard work...I just want the opportunity!
Then I got brave and applied for the Masters of Art in Teaching program at Pitt State University! I sent my transcripts and have filled out all of the paperwork! I was in a holding stance for about 2 weeks! It was rough!
Yesterday, I found out that I have to take 3 classes to raise my GPA. These classes must be done by May of 2016- since the Master's Program will begin June of 2016! Yikes! I was disappointed. But I got the list of classes that I must take and have found them at JCCC and one at an online school in California!
Last night I spent the evening applying for JCCC and Saddleback College! I was getting ready to sign up for the class at Saddleback, when they said...you must pay by Credit Card! Yikes! It was $864 (not including text books)! Man, school is pricey! So, I'm going to wait about a week! Figure out where the money will come from and we will be good to go! The first class I will be taking is "Musical Theatre History and Appreciation"! I am actually excited for the class...and a little nervous! It will be starting in October and run through December! Hopefully, I will be done with most of my musical/ Christmas Program stuff! It means I must get organized and be on top of my game! I'm happy that Gardner has moved their rehearsals up to 5:30! Yahoo!!!
I won't be talking about going back to school very much until I make the Master's Program. It's the same with auditioning- you don't want everyone to ask how the audition went, because what if you don't make it! So...once I make the program, then I will let people know that I'm going back to school to become a teacher! I'm just so nervous about school...hopefully it will be different, since I actually have a goal in mind. A purpose for going to school.
Here is the plan:
Take one class this semester- October-December- Musical Theatre History
Take two classes next semester- Jan. - May- Readers Theatre and Basic Visual Production
(The good news is that, all three of these classes seem interesting! I am happy they are all theatre related)
I will also have to re-take the ACT or take a Praxis test and pass!
If everything works out and I pass the test and the classes then I will be starting the Masters program in June!
Masters Program- June 2016-May 2018! (6 hours a semester and 6 hours during the summer) I would also like to Student Teach during the final semester...but again, I'm not sure if that is possible! Once I make the program, then I will ask about that!
Graduate with my Masters in Teaching Speech/Theatre
Take a test to become a FACS teacher!
Be a teacher in the Fall of 2018!
So, I guess we will just see how it all goes! I can't believe I'm actually going to try to do this! Somewhere in there...I will also be having kids! Ha ha ha! Send prayers, happy thoughts, good luck vibes, and anything else my way! I know that I can do this if I can stay calm, not worry about money, and work hard!
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
How is married life?
How is married life?
This past month has been a rough one! It has really tested me as a person, it has tested my husband and I, and it has tested my faith in God. The good news about being tested, is that you find out what you are made of! You find out if you can survive a tough situation or not. You find out if you can trust/lean on the most important person in your life! It can turn out wonderfully or it can be a disaster!
I am so happy to report that this last month has changed our lives for the better! Was it easy? No way! Did I want to quit and throw in the towel? Yes! There were even a few weeks where I thought...would it even matter if I didn't come home tonight? I was upset, being reminded of a past that I didn't want to be reminded of, I was a bit dramatic...and I was mad at both my husband and myself! Let me explain:
Curt lost his job about a month ago. It was unexpected and very surprising! And I felt unprepared! The first thing to go through my mind was money. We had been spending for the last 2 years as if we were millionaires. Curt, is a big spender! He has always been able to get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it! So, I was angry at both of us- for not saving more. For not being smarter. For thinking that we will always have a job and money and security! All of that was now being questioned. It was rough!
I took it especially rough, since I tend to freak out about money! On top of my money freaking, I was being reminded of my ex-husband. Who lost his job and decided to not get a new one! Leaving me working full time and going to school full time! It was a rough time...and now he is my ex! Don't get me wrong, Curt started looking for work immediately! He would apply for jobs, but then play video games all day! I know it's hard to apply for job after job! I had to do it when I moved back from Florida. But I would get so annoyed with this! He would not help around the house...he would not really tell me what he applied for...it was very hard on me! Now, I know that it was hard on him! In his mind, he is supposed to be the provider! He is the man! And him playing video games was his way of not freaking out! However, I need to see a bit of freaking out! Does that make sense? I need to see some worry- so that I know that he cares. Him pretending that he is okay with how everything is...is not good for me!
Next issue- He has no clue about money! As Dave Ramsey would say- he is a spender! And I'm the saver! So, we are learning together that we can't go out to eat all the time- which was a terrible habit that we had gotten into! We are learning that we might not get to eat exactly what we want to eat! And that is okay! We are learning that we might have to say no to going out to eat with friends and family! Once again, that is okay! It's been a learning experience for the both of us! To give and take! To talk about decisions- no matter how small they might seem! We were invited out twice this week- what should we do? It's rough, but we are working it out! I just need to make sure that we keep it up, once he starts getting paychecks! Take this time to save money/pay off bills...so that in our future, we don't have to worry about that! It makes complete sense to money minded people! Not so much to spenders! Ha ha ha! Then we go and throw things like a trip to Florida in the mix...and it messes everything up! Ha ha ha! I am going to Disney World!
The biggest change also happened! I have tried to talk to Curt about a few things. I get emotional, I cry, I become angry, and I start accusing him instead of talking with him. The bad thing...is that my feelings are real, but are coming across as crazy! For example- We were at one of his friends houses and I walked into the room where he was sitting. Everyone was talking and then they all just stopped. Curt said something like, wow don't you know how to break up a party. It was nothing terrible, but he did not say just kidding, or squeeze my hand...or anything. It just hurt my feelings. When I brought it up later, he said I was just kidding. All of my friends know I'm kidding, why can't you know when I'm kidding. Needless to say, this was the start of some of our arguments. Fast forward to last week. I finally got up the courage to say what I wanted to say- without being accusatory, without sounding nuts, I wish I could say without crying- but if you know me...you know that is impossible! Ha ha ha! I said, Curt I am your wife, but I feel more like a friend! A friend with benefits! And I don't want to be just a friend! I am more! I need more! You used to romance me- and now you say "I don't have to do that anymore, I already got her"! I have written notes on the bathroom mirror for the last 2 years and you have never written one back! I finished with how much I loved him, but I was not willing to continue in a friendship with him! I want to be his wife! It was a rough conversation! But it was amazing! I don't know if I have even been able to express myself the way I did! And Curt finally understood what I was talking about! He got it! And the past 2 weeks have been amazing! He has written me notes, he has opened my door, he has made dinner for me every night! We are talking about life, about money, about what we want to do this week! It has been amazing! I love coming home from work to see him! I feel as if he loves when I'm home as well! He has been helping out around the house...it's just been great! He now has a job, which is always helpful...but it's more than that! It's being aware of what is going on with the one person you love most in the world! I don't ever doubt that he loved me...because he did! It just wasn't being shown to me...in the way I needed it to be!
The last thing that has really changed is my praying! I would pray before, but now I make it a point to pray every time I get in my car to go to work. And every time I get in my car to go home from work! I get to pray out loud- and it's more like a conversation with God then me actually praying. Which works for me! It's what I need to do for me to make it feel real and not fake! I say good morning, and thank you for the day! I prayed for a job for Curt, pray for my family- and ask for help in whatever I need help in! Then when I get out of work, I say a hello- thank him for the day. Say my family prayers and then talk about whatever I need to talk about! It might look a little crazy, but it works! And it helps! And it gives me the time and focus that I need! I really enjoy it!
Everyone asks- how is married life? For the first few months I would say "pretty much the same" or "it's wonderful!"...because it was! Life went on pretty close to how it did before we were married. Curt was a little more aware of me as his wife, but overall it was the same! Now, if someone were to ask...someone that I knew...not just a stranger, I would answer "I love it, it's hare, but we working it out!". Yes, life is easy when things in your life are easy! Marriage, no shows, plenty of money...verses marriage, shows, work, no work, no money...! We still have no money, but Curt has a job! I'm back to work and a full time paycheck is coming from me as well, and pretty soon I will start getting my musical money as well! Things are looking up! Curt and I are...to be honest...we are better than we have ever been! And I'm more in love with him today as I have ever been! So- yes this past month was hard! In fact it sucked! But in the big scheme of things...I will get to look back and say "There was one month that changed everything for your dad and I..." or "One severe weather alert changed our lives for the better" and I will get to smile! We have been through some crazy things together! And we have come out on the other side smiling, holding hands, and in love! I think we are doing pretty well! I hesitate to post this, because it's the truth...not my modified version that I might tell people! Or the version laced with humor! It's hard to put the truth out there, I don't want anyone judging us! We are learning...married life if different, just not in the ways I thought it was going to be different! But different can be awesome...if you can embrace the change! Okay, byeeeee!
This past month has been a rough one! It has really tested me as a person, it has tested my husband and I, and it has tested my faith in God. The good news about being tested, is that you find out what you are made of! You find out if you can survive a tough situation or not. You find out if you can trust/lean on the most important person in your life! It can turn out wonderfully or it can be a disaster!
I am so happy to report that this last month has changed our lives for the better! Was it easy? No way! Did I want to quit and throw in the towel? Yes! There were even a few weeks where I thought...would it even matter if I didn't come home tonight? I was upset, being reminded of a past that I didn't want to be reminded of, I was a bit dramatic...and I was mad at both my husband and myself! Let me explain:
Curt lost his job about a month ago. It was unexpected and very surprising! And I felt unprepared! The first thing to go through my mind was money. We had been spending for the last 2 years as if we were millionaires. Curt, is a big spender! He has always been able to get whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it! So, I was angry at both of us- for not saving more. For not being smarter. For thinking that we will always have a job and money and security! All of that was now being questioned. It was rough!
I took it especially rough, since I tend to freak out about money! On top of my money freaking, I was being reminded of my ex-husband. Who lost his job and decided to not get a new one! Leaving me working full time and going to school full time! It was a rough time...and now he is my ex! Don't get me wrong, Curt started looking for work immediately! He would apply for jobs, but then play video games all day! I know it's hard to apply for job after job! I had to do it when I moved back from Florida. But I would get so annoyed with this! He would not help around the house...he would not really tell me what he applied for...it was very hard on me! Now, I know that it was hard on him! In his mind, he is supposed to be the provider! He is the man! And him playing video games was his way of not freaking out! However, I need to see a bit of freaking out! Does that make sense? I need to see some worry- so that I know that he cares. Him pretending that he is okay with how everything is...is not good for me!
Next issue- He has no clue about money! As Dave Ramsey would say- he is a spender! And I'm the saver! So, we are learning together that we can't go out to eat all the time- which was a terrible habit that we had gotten into! We are learning that we might not get to eat exactly what we want to eat! And that is okay! We are learning that we might have to say no to going out to eat with friends and family! Once again, that is okay! It's been a learning experience for the both of us! To give and take! To talk about decisions- no matter how small they might seem! We were invited out twice this week- what should we do? It's rough, but we are working it out! I just need to make sure that we keep it up, once he starts getting paychecks! Take this time to save money/pay off bills...so that in our future, we don't have to worry about that! It makes complete sense to money minded people! Not so much to spenders! Ha ha ha! Then we go and throw things like a trip to Florida in the mix...and it messes everything up! Ha ha ha! I am going to Disney World!
The biggest change also happened! I have tried to talk to Curt about a few things. I get emotional, I cry, I become angry, and I start accusing him instead of talking with him. The bad thing...is that my feelings are real, but are coming across as crazy! For example- We were at one of his friends houses and I walked into the room where he was sitting. Everyone was talking and then they all just stopped. Curt said something like, wow don't you know how to break up a party. It was nothing terrible, but he did not say just kidding, or squeeze my hand...or anything. It just hurt my feelings. When I brought it up later, he said I was just kidding. All of my friends know I'm kidding, why can't you know when I'm kidding. Needless to say, this was the start of some of our arguments. Fast forward to last week. I finally got up the courage to say what I wanted to say- without being accusatory, without sounding nuts, I wish I could say without crying- but if you know me...you know that is impossible! Ha ha ha! I said, Curt I am your wife, but I feel more like a friend! A friend with benefits! And I don't want to be just a friend! I am more! I need more! You used to romance me- and now you say "I don't have to do that anymore, I already got her"! I have written notes on the bathroom mirror for the last 2 years and you have never written one back! I finished with how much I loved him, but I was not willing to continue in a friendship with him! I want to be his wife! It was a rough conversation! But it was amazing! I don't know if I have even been able to express myself the way I did! And Curt finally understood what I was talking about! He got it! And the past 2 weeks have been amazing! He has written me notes, he has opened my door, he has made dinner for me every night! We are talking about life, about money, about what we want to do this week! It has been amazing! I love coming home from work to see him! I feel as if he loves when I'm home as well! He has been helping out around the house...it's just been great! He now has a job, which is always helpful...but it's more than that! It's being aware of what is going on with the one person you love most in the world! I don't ever doubt that he loved me...because he did! It just wasn't being shown to me...in the way I needed it to be!
The last thing that has really changed is my praying! I would pray before, but now I make it a point to pray every time I get in my car to go to work. And every time I get in my car to go home from work! I get to pray out loud- and it's more like a conversation with God then me actually praying. Which works for me! It's what I need to do for me to make it feel real and not fake! I say good morning, and thank you for the day! I prayed for a job for Curt, pray for my family- and ask for help in whatever I need help in! Then when I get out of work, I say a hello- thank him for the day. Say my family prayers and then talk about whatever I need to talk about! It might look a little crazy, but it works! And it helps! And it gives me the time and focus that I need! I really enjoy it!
Everyone asks- how is married life? For the first few months I would say "pretty much the same" or "it's wonderful!"...because it was! Life went on pretty close to how it did before we were married. Curt was a little more aware of me as his wife, but overall it was the same! Now, if someone were to ask...someone that I knew...not just a stranger, I would answer "I love it, it's hare, but we working it out!". Yes, life is easy when things in your life are easy! Marriage, no shows, plenty of money...verses marriage, shows, work, no work, no money...! We still have no money, but Curt has a job! I'm back to work and a full time paycheck is coming from me as well, and pretty soon I will start getting my musical money as well! Things are looking up! Curt and I are...to be honest...we are better than we have ever been! And I'm more in love with him today as I have ever been! So- yes this past month was hard! In fact it sucked! But in the big scheme of things...I will get to look back and say "There was one month that changed everything for your dad and I..." or "One severe weather alert changed our lives for the better" and I will get to smile! We have been through some crazy things together! And we have come out on the other side smiling, holding hands, and in love! I think we are doing pretty well! I hesitate to post this, because it's the truth...not my modified version that I might tell people! Or the version laced with humor! It's hard to put the truth out there, I don't want anyone judging us! We are learning...married life if different, just not in the ways I thought it was going to be different! But different can be awesome...if you can embrace the change! Okay, byeeeee!
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