Wah Wah days...they suck!

Do you ever have one of those wah wah days?  Yesterday I had one...it's almost as if I knew getting up yesterday morning that it was going to be a wah wah kind of day!  I was tired...and already cranky!  It just wasn't a great morning.

My solution?  Get my free Starbucks...I was trying to save that for a special occasion, but I felt like I really needed it!  So, I got my Venti Latte...which I never get!  With extra syrup!  And it did nothing for me.  Last week I had a small campfire mocha coffee from Carribou Coffee and I was bouncing off the walls all day!  I mean I was just as happy as a clam and soooooooo hyper!  But not yesterday!  Giant latte, extra sweets, and.....there was nothing!

Then I started thinking about money- which if you know me...or you have read a few of my blogs...put me in even more of a funk!  And then everything- a kid needing something, a parent phone call, alphabetizing...even Curt...everything was making me cranky!  The only thing saving me was talking with my sister and my friend!

I got home, cleaned the kitchen (which never takes as long as it does in my head), and went up to school to start editing my video!

I have a few thoughts about why I was so cranky and why I have been so tired...

1. Maybe I'm pregnant- I hear you get tired...like really tired.  Which is how I feel.  And if I'm not preggo- being pregnant tired is going to really suck!  Ha ha ha!  Also the crazy mood swings- happy one day, cranky the next...that could be a sign.

Even though that would be fun,

1.5- My period is around the corner...which would explain things as well...

No one thinks that is fun...however I did find out today that one of my co-workers has been having a weird period for the last few months.  I said I wonder if your body is trying to sync with mine.  I have been off the pill for the last couple of months...things like that are very fascinating to me!  Is that weird?  It sounded weird...

Oh well, I think the actual reason is...

2. I'm sick.  I think my body is trying to fight a bad cold & conscience/sub conscience stress.  I have had a semi-sore throat for the past 5 days, I'm tired, I can't get out of bed in the morning.  I am wanting to eat comfort foods all the time.  The good news is...if it's a cold I don't mind just being tired.  I'm trying to get as much sleep as I can.  I need to drink more water and eat better...those things I can do!

So, today I'm going to try to be good.  Drink more water, eat more fruits and veggies, and try to get in a workout at least 4 times a week.  That is the goal!  I can do that, be healthier for it...plus I only have 18 days until I'm in Florida!  And I want to look good for that!!!  And I have 17 more days until my shows are done...so the stress will be melting away!

No more wah wah days for me!  At least that is the goal!

Working towards the future...it's not easy!

So, each morning on my way to work I normally say a prayer.  It's just a nice way to start the day.  The jobs where I work are normally more loud, so a lot of the time when I'm in a car, I turn off the radio.  Which sounds weird...but it is better for me!

So, lately I have been "giving" my day to God.  The nice thing is...that it has been helping with my anxiety.  So, I have not felt a serious choking feeling in about a week!  I might be a bit of a Type A personality.  So, giving up control is not my thing!

With a schedule like mine, you have to plan, plan, plan!  When you choreograph shows you have a planned time to teach the dance!  I assume with kids, you have planned activites!  When I become a teacher, I will have the class time planned out...so it's not all that crazy that I like my life planned out!  However, I'm learning...okay so I already knew it...but I still try to fight it...to give it up!  I still get to plan a lot of things...but I can't plan the future.  I can work towards a plan for the future...but I can't actually plan it!

This past summer I was looking into a teaching program.  I have been half hearted-ly looking into for a few years now.  For the first time, I got serious.  I actually applied.  I found out what I needed to get into the program...I am taking classes, and looking into tests...so while this past fall, I did not know for sure if I was going to get into the program...I was at least working towards the program!  By the way, I found out a few weeks ago, that as long as I pass the class I'm in currently...I will be able to sign up for the summer courses.  I will still have to pass a few tests, but at least I know that I can start the program!

So, in the school example, I could not know the future, I can only work towards the future!  I cannot know when I will have a baby, but I can work towards having a baby!  I cannot know when we will be debt free, but I can work towards being debt free.  It's not easy to just "work towards" something!  I want to know, I want to plan it all out, I want to be in charge!  But that is not how life works!  So, I'm giving my days to God!  I'm giving up control of the future (even if that future is an hour away)...I'm working on living in the moment while working towards the future!

Okay- so here's to working towards the future!

Wow...I'm so dramatic!

Oh little things in life, why must you torture me?  Why must you try to all pile on top of my shoulders and try to take me out?  You all suck!  But, for the record...I'm going to keep on getting back up again!  Dramatic?  Yes!  True?  Also yes!

My anxiety in the form of a choking feeling is getting less and less...until the last two weeks...which it was rough at school, my schedule was really rough, and overall...I just felt so overwhelmed!  But hopefully it will be calming down!

Crazy school stuff for the middle school- everything for the packet has been ordered!  As soon as it's all here, I will start stuffing the envelopes!  No need to worry about getting that done!

Crazy CYT stuff- I have one more dance to choreograph...and then it's smooth sailing!  Plus, with the end in sight...and a vacation right after...I should be golden!

Crazy BVMS- who am I kidding, that school is great!  The show is about 3 weeks away!  I'm ready for it to be over, but I'm not actively going to those rehearsals any more...due to my other shows!

Crazy Rockhurst- I have been going for a few weeks and it's been great!  Some of the stuff (aka blocking) is a bit hard, and I'm not sure the director has a clear idea as too what she wants...so that is a bit hard...but over all...I am having a blast!

Crazy school school- good news- if I pass my current class, I will get into the M of A program!  This is a huge relief.  I was stressing a bit with not knowing how that will work!  The class itself while all the time wasting is a bit buggy...over all it's fun and I think I will enjoy myself!  Tomorrow I will start filming for my first project!  I'm excited!

At some point, I might get to see my husband!  Ha ha ha...not easy, but it's all coming down to a close in the next few weeks!  And once again...a vacation following the closing of 2 shows is going to be amazing!!!

So, little things in life...you can suck it!  I'm going to keep getting back up...and you can deal with it!  Mic drop- drama out!