Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I hate hard choices- they suck!

Okay, I'm having a hard time trying to decide what to do!  I have been asked to choreograph a musical!  It would be my first one with adults!  Ahhh!!!  I am not in love with the show, but I have done the Jr. version, so I at least know a little bit about it.

So, now I have to try and figure out what my schedule would be, if I were to do it!  I'm not sure why I'm having such a hard time.  Curt said, it's because I want to do it.  Ha ha ha, but I can't tell.

I want to do it, but I'm so nervous that my summer is going to be like my fall!  And I don't want that!  4 shows was too much!  14 weeks of rehearsals was too much!

Right now on my summer schedule is:
StageWorx- June-July- 28 hours a week
Ford- working 20-30 hours a week (I'm not sure about this one- it probably depends how much money I need for my future wedding).

So to add another show- for the month of June- I can't tell if that is too much!  What I need to do is go home and pray over it and see what comes to me!

I don't want to be motivated by money!  That is what I always feel like I am!  I have to pay off my bills!  I want to have the wedding (still not engaged- wah wah) that I want!  Not saying that I need to have a $50,000 wedding, but I want to do everything that I want!  And to be honest, I don't even know what that is as of yet!  After the wedding, it will be money for a down payment then maybe money for kids!

My friend once said, you are never going to have money!  You will always think, if I could just make blank amount more!  She said this as I was talking about one of my many part time jobs.  I said that is true!  She said, I need to listen to what I WANT to do and not the money that is behind it.  I know that if I didn't spend as much I wouldn't need as much!  Ha ha ha!

I don't want to think any more today!  I just need to make a decision and go!  I will feel better once it's made...whether or not it's taking the job or not taking the job.  I just want the decision to be made.  I'm out!

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