Thank goodness fun, warm sun, and relaxation are happening in 12 days! I can make it through the next 12 days! Make it thought 14 hour work days and rehearsal on the weekends! I can make it through rehearsals with kids who don't know how to practice outside of rehearsals and kids who just want to see their friends! I can make it through not seeing my husband or my puppy until 9:30 at night when I'm too tired to do anything but crash! I can do this!
Because at the end of these 12 crazy days...I will be in Florida with my family! And the thing about these next 12 days is that there are kids who will remember this as their first show, their first lead, their first time on stage, their first time in the dance chorus, their favorite show, or the weirdest show, or the most frustrating show...who knows how they will remember these shows. But it will be in their memory and their friends memories, and their parents memories for as long as they can remember things.
I had a girl come up to me yesterday. After a full day of work, a tense rehearsal at the middle school, and working more than my energy was wanting to allow at the second rehearsal- she came up and said that she has never had directors who believed in her like we did. Its her first time in the dance chorus! Is she the best dancer in the world? No...I would not even consider her a dance. But in this show, she is the best dancer we have and one of the hardest working kids that I have worked with! So, that made my heart happy! To hear the excitement in her voice and to know that even though this show is causing my life some crazy stress...for her it's amazing! And I love that! I mean- isn't that the real reason I do shows with middle school kids? To put a positive spin/or a change in their lives? And to hang out with some of my favorite adults- ha! But it was so wonderful to hear that from her! And if that is all I get out the show...then that is perfect! It's not going to be a perfect show...we are kind of hoping for a cute show at this point...but for me- the show was worth it because a few kids were made to feel amazing about themselves during the process! And that is what every kid needs! What ever kid deserves! And that is what I should strive to do. To make them feel amazing!
That being said...my job is not to make kids feel amazing for no reason. They have to work hard...they have to earn it! They have to want to be good more than anything! And when they put in the work, they will get the reward!
Okay- so week one of my two weeks of hell is almost over! I can totally finish strong!
On a completely different topic- I am learning as an adult that there is no point in being sad (for longer than a moment) about certain things. Things will happen when they are supposed to happen. In their own time, in their own way. It's not up to me and the more I try to control things...the more I get hurt in the process. So, for the last month or so...I have been trying to let go of the reigns and go with the flow. If I have time to do the laundry it will get done. If I don't...that is okay as well. Sometimes I forget to ask for help...and sometimes I remember. It's all good. I will say, overall the last month has been less stressful for me. I was not totally stress-free in life because anyone that works 40-60 hours a week is going to be stressed...but I'm really trying to not freak out over the little things. Because tomorrow is a new day, next week is undecided, the month after that...anything can happen! The future is still unknown and it's all very exciting! Don't get bogged down by today's stress when tomorrow could be amazing!
Wow- I'm feeling so deep today! I must be tired! Alright folks, back to work for me!
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