Working towards the future...it's not easy!

So, each morning on my way to work I normally say a prayer.  It's just a nice way to start the day.  The jobs where I work are normally more loud, so a lot of the time when I'm in a car, I turn off the radio.  Which sounds weird...but it is better for me!

So, lately I have been "giving" my day to God.  The nice thing is...that it has been helping with my anxiety.  So, I have not felt a serious choking feeling in about a week!  I might be a bit of a Type A personality.  So, giving up control is not my thing!

With a schedule like mine, you have to plan, plan, plan!  When you choreograph shows you have a planned time to teach the dance!  I assume with kids, you have planned activites!  When I become a teacher, I will have the class time planned out...so it's not all that crazy that I like my life planned out!  However, I'm learning...okay so I already knew it...but I still try to fight it...to give it up!  I still get to plan a lot of things...but I can't plan the future.  I can work towards a plan for the future...but I can't actually plan it!

This past summer I was looking into a teaching program.  I have been half hearted-ly looking into for a few years now.  For the first time, I got serious.  I actually applied.  I found out what I needed to get into the program...I am taking classes, and looking into tests...so while this past fall, I did not know for sure if I was going to get into the program...I was at least working towards the program!  By the way, I found out a few weeks ago, that as long as I pass the class I'm in currently...I will be able to sign up for the summer courses.  I will still have to pass a few tests, but at least I know that I can start the program!

So, in the school example, I could not know the future, I can only work towards the future!  I cannot know when I will have a baby, but I can work towards having a baby!  I cannot know when we will be debt free, but I can work towards being debt free.  It's not easy to just "work towards" something!  I want to know, I want to plan it all out, I want to be in charge!  But that is not how life works!  So, I'm giving my days to God!  I'm giving up control of the future (even if that future is an hour away)...I'm working on living in the moment while working towards the future!

Okay- so here's to working towards the future!